Astronaut5: Reckless + Expecting

Dean pressed himself back against Castiel, eyes drifting closed as he let the angel guide him back on the bed. He sat down slowly, and brought his hands on his soulmate's sides, stroking the naked skin softly.

Castiel almost sat on Dean to guide him fully down, and he rested his chest against his, sighing softly when he felt both the human's rib cage moving up and down, and his heart beating against his skin.

Castiel was so... so gentle, so kind it made Dean feel even dirtier. Even worse. But he did swallow down his refusals, once again, and just let the angel guide him however he wished. Feeling his warmth, his heart beating next to his own, he slowly managed to ease down a bit. Cas was there. He was there with him. He wasn't running away. He wasn't leaving. He traced absent-mindedly his rib cage, the warding tattoo he had engraved on his skin, his shoulders, his back, his hair. He didn't care where his hands went as long as they were on him.

Castiel caressed Dean's cheek, thoughtful as well. He could feel his soulmate's distress. He could tell Dean probably loathed himself right now. Yet, it took him time to find words that could soothe him. In the end... he figured he might go with what he had talked about with Eileen. "We can't find a way to take the mark off you. But there might be a way to lower its influence on you, to the point it'd be easy to fight off."

Dean blinked up a him, perplexed, as if he hadn't really processed what Castiel had just told him. "... really?", he asked in the end, in a breathless whisper. He sounded genuinely incredulous - maybe a bit skeptic. But the tiniest bit hopeful.

Castiel nodded. "I asked Rowena to come. I want to look for a way to share your burden," he whispered, as he brought his hand on Dean's torso, laying his head on his shoulder.

Dean instantly froze. He grabbed Castiel's wandering hand, and looked at him, his face pale and a terrified glint in his eyes. He looked like his soulmate had just told him he would have walked into a den of demons and let them go at him without fighting back. "Share?", he repeated, his voice weak. "You aren't serious."

Castiel frowned. "I am, Dean. We're soulmates. There has to be a way for us to share that kind of burden."

Dean frowned as well. "No, Cas. I don't want you to share... to share that", he spat, throwing a hateful glance towards the Mark. "It's exactly because we are soulmates that I can't stand the thought. What if that way we both get affected? What if we both-" He bit his lower lip, trying to take a breath. "I know why you want to do this, Cas. And I love you, and I appreciate it, but I don't know if I want this to be the solution."

Castiel's expression softened. "Dean. What if taking half of thr burden away actually makes it a... Viable situation? What if it never corrupted you, or me afterwards?" Those were not facts. They were Castiel's hopes for them. He only wished for this nightmare to be over.

Dean sighed, pain and doubt still written all over his face. "I don't know", he repeated in a whisper. "We will... hear from Rowena. But if I'll not be a hundred percent convinced, I won't let you do it." Maybe he was being a little childish, but he couldn't help ita. He wanted at least Cas to be safe.

Castiel sighed. "Dean. I've lost you twice already. Even if there is a faint chance for it to work, I'm willing to take that risk." And he was dead serious about it.

Dean frowned a bit. Then sighed too, and gently cupped Castiel's cheeks. "I don't want- I don't want for this to be what you get out of us. How do you think the thought makes me feel? 'As anniversary gift I got my girlfriend a necklace, what about you?' 'Oh you know, the usual. I got my boyfriend the most ancient and awful curse to ever exist to share!' I... why can't I give you anything good ever?" His voice had broke a bit towards the end of his speech, and he looked away.

Castiel's expression softened. "Dean. You gave me happiness. Your love. I couldn't ask for anything more," he whispered, as he cupped his cheeks as well, bringing him closer for a kiss.

Dean kissed him back, but soon broke it again. He rested his forehead against Castiel's, and bit his own lower lip, looking conflicted. "I... please don't slap me for saying it, but... I seldom feel like it's enough. I see you here, at my side, and I tell myself it's not possible that I deserve this. Why do you think I went on a mission to retrieve your grace? It was- it was for me to finally give you something back. Something good."

Castiel sighed deeply. "Dean- This is more than enough. You've proven me how much you love me already," he whispered against his lips, before he kissed him again. "I can't ask for anything more, but to know that you could finally feel safe."

Dean sighed again. "I want you to be safe too. How is that going to work if we will both have the Mark?" But well, no matter how many times he said it, apparently Castiel was really not taking any of his shit. Well. "We will see what Rowena says tomorrow. Alright?"

Castiel nodded softly. "Yes. In the meantime... I still need to thank you." He forced a soft smile, and gently pressed two fingers on Dean's forehead. "For finding my grace back."

Dean blinked, feeling all his bruises and cuts clear up in a matter of seconds. He glanced at Castiel and forced out a smile. "Thanks, Cas", he murmured, arms wrapping around his waist to bring him as close to his body as possible.

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean as well and held him tight, sighing softly. "I love you, Dean," he whispered one last time, while closing his eyes.

"Love you too, Cas", Dean murmured back, kissing him once again, before closing his eyes as well. Even though he already knew he wouldn't have slept that night.

It actually took them a lot of time to discuss about that whole ritual, because yes, there would he small chances of them failing it. Rowena was however good at reassuring them both, especially Dean, so they went through it together, and managed to split the mark in two. None of them could wield the First Blade like Cain once had, yet it could hold no power on them ever again. A few months went by and proved them they had been right to do it, so they could finally be at peace with that whole chapter of their lives.

Still trying to keep out of Crowley's reach, Rowena had moved in with them, and had a whole room dedicated to herself, and the questionable artefacts she gathered to sell them. She also had quite a few remedies ready in stock to help the brothers, Eileen and Cas on their daily lives as hunters, so they happily kept her around.

That's for the context.
On the other side, after half of a good night of heated love-making sessions with Dean, Castiel suddenly tensed when angel radio went crazy, as well as more than half of the bunker's machines.

Dean was way less used than Castiel to the sudden outbursts of angel radio. Reason for which he had basically jumped up, cursing out loud when that sudden movement made him fall from the bed. Well, that one shriek had been particularly loud, to his defense. "What the FUCK was that!", he half-yelled. There, if there was a thing he honestly hated about his new condition as a human bearing angel grace, was that. He didn't even get what they were saying, damn it!

Castiel kept his hands pressed to his head, and actually listened to what was being said, before his eyes widened. What he heard, what he felt was so odd he couldn't put words on it. Not yet.

And, not so far away, Sam was stomping out of his room in his pajamas to take a look at those captors and radars going crazy, worried that something as bad as the end of the world was about to happen.
In her own bed, Rowena stifled a frustrated grown in her pillow.

Dean could only press his hands on his ears, desperately trying to block out any sound possible - quite useless when what is destroying your eardrums is actually in your goddamn head. And letting out a long string of loud profanities.

Eileen of course couldn't really hear what was going on, but he sensed all that sudden agitation, and rushed with Sam outside their room, trying to keep up with his long steps. What the hell was going on?