Astronaut5: Reckless + Expecting

Eileen frowned harder. She had caught what Castiel had said, reading his lips, but she felt a bit confused about it. "You mean - there could be a way to split it?", she asked, quickly. "If there is... it would diminish its power for sure...!"

Eileen smiled at him. "We will get her as soon as possible", she signed back. "She owes us one after we let her look in our library by the way." Finally some light at the end of the tunnel!

Eileen ran to Sam, to tend to him a bit. It was true, she hadn't slept either. But her soulmate had gone through some hellish hours, and he deserved at least a good hug and a kiss.

Dean was laying against the chair he had been previously bound to - his eyes were closed, and his cheeks wet with tears. His throat was sore from all the yelling. And he was feeling at his absolute worst, not to say he was wishing he was dead at that point.

Eileen smiled softly at him, saying nothing, but leading him to a chair, to prepare a cup of tea. He deserved that - and a lot of rest, too.

Dean opened his eyes a bit, barely gazing at Castiel before he let his head hung low in shame. "I am sorry", was all he could say. "I know my apologies don't really... count shit, with this thing on my arm, and with the terrible stuff I said. But I... I am sorry, Cas."

Eileen smiled softly at Sam, and nodded gently. "Of course", she signed back to him. "We can rest all you want. I am sure you are exhausted in every imaginable way." She reached for his hand to hold it.

Dean bit back a bitter remark that would have been all dripping with poisonous self-loathing. He was not in the mood to get slapped (yes, he did remember that). He simply nodded, letting Castiel help him up and walk him to his own bedroom. He looked wrecked in every way, and he knew his face was a mask of pain and sadness. But he couldn't do anything about it.

Eileen scooted closer to Sam, and wrapped her arms around him as much as she could - not an easy deal, with him being built like a giant and the fact they were sitting down. But hugging him was just how she had decided to let him know she was close.

Dean, once again, passively let Castiel hold him. And it took him a while, but in the end, after a few minutes, he gave up, and finally hugged him back. He held his soulmate as close to his chest as he could, and long minutes passed before he was actually able to talk. "If you want to squeeze me to death, I grant you my blessings." His voice was a bit cracked, and he hated it, but at least he managed to keep it firm enough.

Eileen leaned into his touch, letting out a small sigh. She looked at him with affection in her eyes, and maybe a bit of worry. "Are you better?", she asked, signing. She had been mindful not to ask that, during the past days. She had limited herself to help him at her best, and stay at his side silently.

Dean was about to mumble another apology, but found out he preferred it much more when his mouth was covered with Castiel's. At least he didn't have to force his words out. He turned the kiss from soft to hungry, outright desperate, as his hands gripped the angel's shirt tight.

Eileen shook her head. "It's your brother, Sam. By now I know how much Dean means for you - and I knew what I signed up for, when we decided for us to be a thing." She smiled. "So, see? You don't have to be sorry."

Dean had honestly no intention of ending that kiss - but he kind of really needed to breathe, at a certain point. To his credit, he waited until his lungs were completely empty before finally gasping for air. He looked into Castiel's eyes, breathing heavily. "I love you", he rasped out. That, too, sounded desperate.

Eileen sighed. "You weren't at my side. I can't say I slept much. Or very well, either", she signed back. She always had problems sleeping on her own - nightmares weren't kind, and she had soon gotten used to how soundly she could sleep if she did so in Sam's arms. "Let's go", she added then with a small smile. She had decided to save the potential discover she and Castiel had made about the possibility of splitting the Mark for tomorrow. She wanted him to rest.

Dean swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. "Does it make sense, if I say that I am sorry that you do?" He could feel tears almost prickle at his eyes by now, and no matter what, he didn't want to allow himself to cry. He had no right to. He just dived in to kiss Castiel another time, and then again and again, as if each one was the last he could get.

Eileen smiled softly, relieved to see he had all the intention to sleep now. She stripped down to her own underwear too, stealing one of his t-shirts to sleep in - she did it regularly by now. They were so large it made for a comfortable nightgown. She crashed down next to him, gently tapping his arm so that he could put himself into a more comfortable position to sleep into. And maybe closer to her.

Dean brought Castiel closer with each kiss as well - even though by now it was just one long, single, desperate and quite sloppy makeout session. He never cut it, safe from those two seconds or three he needed to breathe again. He unconsciously brought his hands to the hem of the angel's shirt, out of the pure need to feel the comforting warmth of his skin under his fingers.

And Eileen too, as soon as she felt surrounded by her personal blanket once again, fell asleep after mere seconds.

Dean silently shook his head. "I don't- I don't want that, Cas. I just need to feel you." He couldn't even think about getting anything more than a kiss in that moment. He didn't feel like he had the right to that either. "Please", he whispered then.

Dean nodded, straightening up as well. He forced his hands not to shake as he got rid of his jacket and his flannel shirt, carelessly throwing them on the ground. He peeked in Castiel's direction, expectanctly.