3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 17:55

"When I don't have my weapon? Sure, go ahead" Kalyan sat at the table. He was still pissed, but he had cooled down enough to hear him now

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Gravirei on Sun 13 Jan - 18:06

"I asked to talk now exactly because I don't see anything you could kill me with anywhere nearby you", Balthazar joked. "Even though we are in a kitchen. That might not be the best choice, but well." He took a deep breath. "The last evening we saw each other, when we... well. We kissed. I hadn't noticed, but my oldest brother Michael was not far, and he saw us. Of course he ran home like the good little stupid soldier he is, and told everything to my mother. Who, as soon as I got home, went completely nuts." He paused, grimacing at the memory. "She yelled and bawled her eyes out, called me an abomination, something against nature, asking me why couldn't I be normal, instead than a sodomite. She told me I was still her son, and that she could cure me. Cure me! I yelled back at her. Told her to go to hell. She screamed even more, and told me she would not allow me anywhere near my other brothers, because I could do... stuff... to them. Infect them." He gulped. "I took all my stuff, and ran away." He paused for a second. He needed a minute.

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 18:11

"...." Kalyan frowned, but did not interrupt him. He noted Michael's name on his Death Note in his head, of course. But for now, he couldn't really understood why this event prevented Balthazar to come back to him

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Gravirei on Sun 13 Jan - 18:24

Balthazar took a deep breath. "Now, here comes the part where I behaved like a complete idiot. I didn't know where to go, I tried to go through all my options - but I decided I couldn't really put that bargain on anyone. My father had just asked for a divorce, and the only brothers I trusted where either away or too young to ask them for help. I didn't even noticed I had left the phone, everything. I just wanted to go as far as possible. I took a plane for France that same night, since they had offered me a student exchange time ago." He tormented his fingers a bit. "I... after all that, I lacked the guts to contact anyone. I had time to cool down, and to realize I had acted out of fear and anger without even telling anyone where I was going, and that it was stupid of me. SO stupid. But it was late to apologize." He sighed. "I was a coward. And I'm sorry, I... I don't even know if you can forgive me, but truth is, I could only think about how much I had disappointed you. How much I would have liked to see you and to explain. But..." He paused again, looking at his own hands. He had ran out of things to say, to be honest.

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 18:37

Kalyan sighed and shook his head. He was indeed disappointed in Balthazar, even more now that he knew the whole story. "Whatever. You chose to put yourself first, and I guess I can understand that. I just thought I was at least a bit special to you at that time" The young man scowled at the painful memories of him waiting for Balthazar's return. "Yeah, whatever. So I guess you're gonna apologize to your family tonight"

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Gravirei on Sun 13 Jan - 18:44

Balthazar grimaced a bit. "Yes. But first, I wanted to apologize to you as well." He looked up to meet Kalyan's eyes. "You were very special to me, at the time. You still are, or I wouldn't even be here right now. But it's my fault to have screwed up all that it could have been. If only I could have another chance, even only at being your friend, I would show you I grew up, and I would treasure that." He paused. "But that would be much of me to ask you. I don't want to be egoistic again."

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 18:47

"I'm not special to you, Balthazar" Kalyan snarled, his body tensed. "You had years to contact me and to prove it to me. Or you could just have..." He stopped himself before saying 'You could just have stayed single. But you didn't. You went out with other people than me'. Because saying that would have been so pathetic and his jealousy would have probably killed him on the spot

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Gravirei on Sun 13 Jan - 19:09

Balthazar flinched a bit. But he caught that something was being left untold in the air, and so he did add something. "I don't think you would have wanted to hear from me. That's why I didn't try. At least before trying to write some letters at least, which you never answered to. And as I said, I didn't go to anyone to tell them I was sorry, I came first to you." He got up from the table. "If you wish to keep on thinking I don't care in the slightest about you, that's fine. I can't say I don't deserve it anyway." He smiled at Kalyan, a bit sadly, fighting with himself not to just burst or beg for another chance. "At least I got the chance to explain myself a bit."

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 19:11

"What letters, what the fuck are you talking about" Kalyan answered, quite aggressive. But indeed, he never had a single news from Balthazar, so what the fuck?

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Gravirei on Sun 13 Jan - 19:25

"... after a week, I started writing letters to you. I knew your address, and I was too much of a coward to call you, but I thought maybe I could at least do that. To let you know", Balthazar explained, crossing his arms on his chest. "I sent it. I sent more after that one. You never answered to me, so I just assumed that - rightfully - you did not want to have anything to do with me." He frowned. He was feeling a bit tense now, since Kalyan looked aggressive. And since he had developed quite a good fleeing reflex, he would have quickly ran to his room at any menacing gesture.

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 19:33

"..." Kalyan shook his head. "I never received letters from you. Or I would not have been angry. I'm angry at you because you never contacted me. Or I thought you never did" He said, losing all his aggressivity. He was just... very sad

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Gravirei on Sun 13 Jan - 19:41

Balthazar scratched his head, embarrassed. "... you mean you- would have answered to me, if you had ever received my letters?" His voice was full of hope for forgiveness now. "I do have a copy of a couple of those, if you wish for a proof?"

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 19:48

"..." Kalyan nodded. "If indeed, you tried to reach me... That would matter a lot, to me." More than a lot. But hey, he couldn't confess everything right away

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Gravirei on Sun 13 Jan - 20:03

Balthazar seemed to lit up. "Wait up, stay here", he said, gesturing for him to keep still while he walked to his room. He rummaged around a bit, and fished up a couple of well-preserved letters. He soon was back in the kitchen, and handed them to Kalyan. They seemed to be copies of handwritten letters indeed.
The first one seemed to be the oldest one. It mentioned the same story Balthazar had just told to Kalyan, and how much he hated himself for not even trying to call him, to tell him he was going away. He talked about being in Strasbourg, and how he had found a small apartment with the little funds he had. 'I will soon have to contact my dad, to officialize my staying, and to pay the years I'll do here. I don't think I can come back and face my family now, I don't have the strength for that - but know this. I miss you. And I will miss you, for as much as that counts, for the whole time I'll stay here. Please, look after yourself, and try to forgive me.'
The second one, judging by the date, was fairly recent. This one was a bit more... heartfelt, and, aside from mentioning how the society he was working for was proceeding more than very well, he didn't write much more than 'even if you aren't answering to me, I still hope one day you will. Even to tell me you hate my guts and you would slash me with your katana, I still miss you, like the first day, and I am still dreaming about what could have been between us if I hadn't been so stupid. You would maybe be my boyfriend, and I would be way happier than I am now.' An outpouring of sentiment, more than actual news about how he was doing and how his studies and job were proceeding.

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 20:42

Kalyan took his time to read the letters, and he sighed when he finished them. He folded the letters carefully and laid them close to him, a bit unsure about... how he should react. Many years have passed. Balthazar had boyfriends, a thought that made him bitter. But if he had tried to reach him, it would be unfair to reproach him anything, right? "I am resentful by nature. I have trouble forgiving. And even with all that, I feel like I'm still angry. I do not know if tomorrow, you'll disappear in the same way as a few years ago. But if you had to stay, I'll learn to master my crappy personality. I won't nag you anymore, though. I don't want to be that kind of pitiful person."

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Gravirei on Sun 13 Jan - 20:47

Balthazar shook his head. "I learn from my mistakes. Trust me when I say I won't ever disappear like that ever again." He smiled at Kalyan. "I am not telling you to stop being angry, you know. Besides, I kind of like how you look when you're scowling", he joked lightly. "What do you mean with nagging, though?"

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 20:48

Kalyan turned his head, not able to look at him in the eyes. He was embarrassed when people were complimenting him! "I stop to say that you don't care or that you left. You know, like an annoying ex wife"

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Gravirei on Sun 13 Jan - 20:56

Balthazar blinked, and then laughed gently. "Oh, my. That's such a cute thought", he chuckled, winking at Kalyan. "Don't worry. You're not nagging me. I think your anger is... more than justified. I was fully prepared to get punched, when I came here!"

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 20:57

"I wouldn't like to punch you" Kalyan sighed. "It was a good thing that you asked to meet in a bar. That way, I won't have regrets"

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Gravirei on Sun 13 Jan - 21:09

"I knew that was a good choice", Balthazar replied. "Knowing your... well, flaming temper. Maybe not punched, but I would have ended up being a toothpick holder", he added with a smirk, clearly referring to how the sword would have made him look like a Swiss cheese.

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 21:19

"I'm not that heartless" Kalyan grumbled, getting up to wash the dishes. "I never wanted to kill you. Or to hurt you. ... I want you happy, you know. Truly happy"

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Gravirei on Sun 13 Jan - 21:29

Balthazar could only smile at that. "You are sweet", he murmured, following Kalyan and walking closer to him. Truth be told, his hands were itching from the wish to touch him. He was holding himself from wrapping his arms around his waist and maybe kiss him. Ok, especially kiss him. The other man had grown so handsome, and he was exactly as pleasant to be with as he remembered! "Can I help?"

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 21:35

"Yeah, you can wipe the stuff" Kalyan said to him, pointing at the dishcloth. "It will be a big change to have someone helping me" He joked. Because Garoo always found excuses not to help for dishes!

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Gravirei on Sun 13 Jan - 21:41

Balthzar laughed, fetching the dishcloth and starting to dry up some of the things Kalyan had already washed. "You mean Garoo is a lazyass?", he asked with a smile. "I would have never thought, seeing him. Well, until I'll stay here, I will help. I'm used to do everything on my own, after all. Especially cooking."

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Re: 3 - Why did you disappear in thin air?

Post by Mat on Sun 13 Jan - 21:47

"Garoo has a lot of qualities, but he hates helping in the kitchen" Kalyan sighed deeply. "And I'm not very good at cooking. Are you good?" He asked, curious.

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